The Rawlins Review: Top 5 Takeaways from Captain America: Civil War

Last night one of my friends might have acquired a copy of Captain America: Civil War. It was a shitty camcorder video with a bunch of watermarks and Spanish (maybe Portuguese?) subtitles but I got the gist of it. I was on #TeamCap back when I read the Civil War storyline so if this post seems biased, that’s because it is.

*KAUTION: TREAT THIS ENTIRE POST AS ONE HUGE SPOILER*

MAJOR CHARACTERS/CAMEOS

#TeamCap

Team Cap:

Captain America – had to protect Bucky from being arrested or possibly killed for a crime he didn’t commit

Bucky – accused of the murder of the king of Wakanda; hunted by Team Iron Man

Falcon – Captain America’s right-hand man

Scarlet Witch – Pretty much sparked the Civil War fire by accidentally murdering a bunch of innocent people

Hawkeye – Came out of retirement to help Captain America

Ant-man – Came along with Hawkeye; displayed a new power of becoming gigantic

#TeamIronMan

Team Iron Man:

Iron Man – wanted the superheroes to register; believed Bucky killed the king of Wakanda

War Machine – Iron Man’s right-hand man

Black Widow – was originally Team Iron Man, helped Captain America and Bucky escape the big fight, then I guess went back to Iron Man

Black Panther – believed Bucky killed his father

Spiderman – recruited by Tony Stark; got knocked out fighting Ant-Man and sent home by Iron Man

Vision – believed registration was best

Others:

Crossbones – tried to kill Captain America in the beginning; killed by Scarlet Witch

Agent Carter – her funeral was in the movie

Zemo – he was the bad guy; I don’t think he was a Nazi

Red Hulk – General Ross was brought up in conversation but not shown

Scarlet Witch

1. Wanda (Scarlet Witch) royally fucked up

In an effort to save Captain America from being killed by Crossbones in the style of radical Islam, Scarlet Witch intervenes. She contains the explosion and throws Crossbones into a heavily populated office building. I guess that killed him because we never saw him again. It also killed a lot of innocent people. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back and made the government decide to step in and regulate our heroes. Dammit, Wanda.

Iron Man and War Machine

2. Iron Man’s a bleeding heart

All it took was accidentally racking up some civilian casualties for Iron Man to let Big Brother take the reins. It never crossed his mind before but now all of a sudden it’s the only option to protect mankind from itself and aliens. These evil men and aliens will obviously adhere to the government rules of engagement and all that I’m sure. Cap, on the other hand, realizes that the people who proposed this policy have an agenda and agendas change with the times. He decides against letting anyone, especially government bureaucrats, dictate how he saves the entire world from destruction. The comic book version has the superheroes being forced to reveal their secret identities, which Cap is definitely against (even though everyone knows he’s Steve Rogers).

Bucky aka The Winter Soldier

3. Bucky killed Iron Man’s parents

The craziest part to me was when they revealed that the Winter Soldier was the one sent by Hydra to kill Tony Stark’s parents. He destroyed the dad’s face and suffocated the mom. Iron Man went apeshit when he found out.

Civil War Fight

4. The ending was awesome

After Zemo revealed that Bucky killed Iron Man’s parents and Captain America admitted that he knew, Iron Man went fuckin crazy and started beating the shit out of everyone. That’s the crazy fight you saw in the first couple trailers. Iron Man was whooping ass. At one point he blew Bucky’s metal arm off. Fucking savage. Captain America pretty much won, though. He had a chance to kill Iron Man and didn’t. Then he ran off.

Captain America death

5. There were some differences from the comics (obviously)

Captain America was supposed to die. Crossbones wasn’t. Crossbones was supposed to kill Captain America. I wanted that ending. I love Game of Thrones and the Walking Dead. I’m a glutton for punishment. They should’ve killed Captain America. I guess they couldn’t but they should’ve. Also, Team Cap is in prison. How are they gonna get out and how will this affect the chemistry within the Avengers? I couldn’t tell if Zemo was a Nazi. He’s supposed to be a Nazi, not a grieving father. He’s not even supposed to be the villain, the heroes are. Spiderman has a huge part in the comics but gets around fifteen minutes of screen time. The Punisher’s not there. Lots of other stuff I’m probably missing like the Thunderbolts and Heroes for Hire storylines but I didn’t expect those to be portrayed anyway.

I give the movie a 4/5. Good shit.

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2 thoughts on “The Rawlins Review: Top 5 Takeaways from Captain America: Civil War

  1. Yeah, an now watch it again in theatres…then you get the full scene of the discussion between Tony and Steve and the end-credit scenes which will answer at least one of your questions….

    Liked by 1 person

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