The third episode of season six wasn’t as action packed as the first two episodes but it was still pretty good. I’m writing this in the middle of studying for finals so forgive me if any of it’s wrong or I’m missing something important.
1. FUCK YOU, OLLY! YOU’RE DEAD!
The newly risen Jon Snow took it upon himself to hang the fuckers who killed him. That includes Ser Alliser Thorne and Olly’s bitch ass. Olly tried to act hard right before he started flopping around on the business end of a hangman’s noose.
2. Cersei’s playing the long game
It’s not hard to see what Cersei’s going for now. She hopes to go to trial, be sentenced, and demand a trial by combat. Then the Mountain in all of his extremely creepy glory will destroy the High Sparrow’s champion, sentencing him to death in turn! She’s so clever! Can’t wait to see how it all turns out.
3. Ramsay’s new plan
Ramsay had planned on gathering up troops and going on the offensive. He probably would’ve gotten slaughtered. I don’t think he’s the commander his “dad” was. But now the game’s changed. He’s got Rickon. He’ll probably hold him hostage to get Jon Snow to give in to some demands. Too bad for everyone that Jon Snow stepped down as Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch. I guess technically his watch ended because he died. But since he’s not in charge, Rickon doesn’t give Ramsay much leverage and will probably be brutally murdered just like Shaggydog.
4. Tommen puts his big boy pants on
Tommen went at the High Sparrow demanding proper treatment for his mother and wife. He seemed fearless. But then the High Sparrow sat him down and seemed to talk to Tommen in a way that broke down his walls. Probably manipulating him. I got sort of an altar boy/priest vibe from the whole situation. It didn’t help that Varys’ little birdies were revealed to be children. He always seemed like a pedophile to me even without a dick.
5. Khaleesi’s future
One of the more interesting parts of the show was when it looked like Khaleesi was gonna be naked again. She had her clothes ripped off of her but unfortunately we only got a glimpse of her backside before she put on a potato sack. Apparently since she went out into the world instead of staying holed up in a temple with a bunch of widows, she’s in trouble. The khals have to figure out what to do with her. They’ll probably decide to gang rape her at which point she’ll be rescued by her beloved dragons.
Oh yeah and Arya got her sight back. Totally DIDN’T SEE that one coming.