Johnny Depp: Woman Beater?

Amber Heard has been my favorite actress since I was about a freshman in high school. It’s mostly because she’s incredibly hot. Most of her movies are shit (fingers crossed for Aquaman). I loved Never Back Down and Allha Dog, though. Anyway, one of the most heartbreaking moments in my life is when I found out she was getting married to Johnny Depp. I had to return the engagement ring I bought her.

Today I bought back that ring, however, because I learned that she and Edward Scissorhands got a divorce! I was hoping it was just due to reconcilable differences (as was cited as the reason) but now it seems like abuse was a factor. I got the following information from tabloids and TMZ like any respectable blogger so take it with a grain of salt. They like to sensationalize shit.

amber heard bruise

1. Amber Heard claims Johnny Depp hit her multiple times

In a picture she submitted as evidence of abuse, Amber Heard’s face has a huge ass bruise on it. She says Depp hit her across the face with his iPhone. I don’t know if he threw it or if it was in his palm and he slapped her with it or what but her face didn’t look too good. He was apparently drunk and high and has done this sort of thing before. I wouldn’t doubt it. Crazy bastard.

amber heard in a dress

2. Amber Heard divorced Johnny Depp days after his mother’s death

Amber Heard doesn’t give a fuck. Johnny’s tears were still wet on his cheek when he was served up some divorce papers. If he really did hit her, though, then that’s just what happens. Eye for an eye and all that.

amber heard

3. Amber Heard was granted a temporary restraining order

Until a hearing on June 17th, Depp was ordered to stay at least 100 yards away from Amber. That shouldn’t be too hard since he’s either off on tour with his band or promoting his new movie. Different sites say different things. He does get to have contact with her dogs, though. And she’s allowed to stay in their family home and blah blah blah boring details.

amber heard and johnny depp

4. Amber sought spousal support

I’ve never heard of this happening except with celebrities but Amber Heard wanted Captain Jack Sparrow to pay her $50,000 a month in spousal support. That’s a shitload of money! I don’t think being married to one of the hottest Texans on the planet is worth $50k a month. Not that I could pay it. I’ll be lucky to make over half that a year out of college. I might have to move back in with my parents! Fuck. Her request was denied by the way.

amber heard in the rum diary

5. Amber Heard can read

I already stated most of the important facts but something funny I read in one of the articles is that one of the reasons Johnny Depp fell for Amber Heard is because she was literate. I, too, like a woman that knows how to read. That just goes along with the rest of the bullshit sites throw in at the end of stories for no apparent reason like the fact that Depp was in a relationship before he met Amber or that Australia has laws.

There’s a chance that Amber’s making this up. I would think that being a Texan with a .357 magnum and a dog named Pistol, Amber would’ve shot Sweeney Todd in the face the second he got violent. But that’s just me. She could be speaking the gospel truth. Without Johnny around, it’s a pretty one-sided story. His lawyers and representatives have been making statements as of right now. Stay tuned to your favorite trash news sites for more up to date coverage. This is all I’ll probably do.

Follow me on Twitter: @KallMeKarter


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