A Hoaxer’s Guide to Swastikas

Hate crimes are bad. They’re attacks on community members based on shared traits. They’re meant to intimidate and cause harm. They’re unforgivable. Fake hate crimes are also unforgivable. Not only are you causing unnecessary panic in your neighborhood, you’re basically committing a hate crime yourself.

One of the most egregious forms of hate crime hoaxing that I’ve seen in the past year or so is that of the fake swastika graffiti. I’m not appalled by these hoaxes because I think Nazis are going to rise again and haul minorities off to death camps, but because of how ludicrous some of the artwork is and how the media shovels it down our throats as a legit reason to be afraid. They’re stirring up fear when there’s no cause for concern and they’re not even doing it convincingly.

Just look at these examples:

Synagogue swastikaSwastika graffitiSwastika graffiti trump

Do you think an actual white supremacist or neo-Nazi wouldn’t know how to draw a proper swastika? That’s what these people live for! If you’re going to fake a hate crime, do it right. Below, I’ve included a helpful guide to help the hoaxer in his quest to fake swastika-related hate crimes.

Method 1: The Cross (“Plus Sign” for the Heathens)

Step 1.

Start with a single, vertical line. This symbolizes the Nazi’s belief he is the backbone of a just society.

Step 2.

Intersect that line with a horizontal line of about the same length. This symbolizes how the Nazi will lay down to rest when his noble work on Earth is done.

Step 3.

Draw a smaller, horizontal line beginning at the top of the vertical line and extending to the right. It’s shorter to symbolize the short lives of the Jews.

Step 4.

Draw a shorter, vertical line beginning on the right end of the original horizontal line and extending downward. This symbolizes how the Nazi regime sought to bring their enemies to their knees.

Step 5.

Draw a shorter, horizontal line beginning at the bottom of the original vertical line and extending to the left. This symbolizes how if you weren’t with the Nazis, you would be left behind.

Step 6.

For the final step, draw a shorter, vertical line starting at the left end of the original horizontal line and extending upward. This symbolizes how after defeat, the Nazi would rise up stronger than ever.

Method 2: The X

It’s pretty much the same thing, just tilted. You start off with an X and go from there. This is the true Nazi swastika and should only be attempted by a seasoned hoaxer.

Step 1.

Start from left to right and draw a diagonal line. It symbolizes the motion you make with your hand when you won’t put up with anymore nonsense.

Step 2.

Finish off that X with a diagonal line of the same length starting from right to left. This symbolizes the extermination of the Nazi’s enemies.

Step 3.

Starting from the upper left point of the X, draw a shorter, diagonal line upward that is parallel with the second line you drew. This symbolizes the Roman salute the Nazis would use to honor their fuhrer.

Step 4.

Starting at the upper right point of the X, draw a shorter, diagonal line downward that is parallel with the first line you drew. This makes the swastika look like two axes, symbolizing the swift choping down of resistance.

Step 5.

Starting from the lower right point of the X, draw a shorter, diagonal line downward that is parallel with the second line you drew. This represents the Nazis coming down on the opposition.

Step 6.

To finish the swastika, start from the lower left point of the X and draw a shorter, diagonal line upward that is parallel with the first line you drew. This symbolizes the final ascent of the Nazis.

If you follow this guide, you’ll be able to fight Nazis and pull off hate crime hoaxes like a champ in no time. Remember: practice makes perfect.

Thanks for reading!

Follow me for more enlightenment: @KallMeKarter

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